Thursday, May 19, 2011

Here are some poems from the attic! :)



The Bosatsu’s Lament
We are about to lose our beauty
and our friends.
We have wasted time
in the heat of time’s desert.
In broken homes

just before they break.
At kitchen tables past bedtime,
where people whisper oh my God,
is this the way
the story is supposed to be?

We try
to be as agile as vacuum.
But our weight is too ugly,
our will, too strong.

No one will miss us, 
we try to believe.


This was the title poem of my third chapbook:
The Dead Thoreau
I am lying under the ground.
There is soil on top of me, and grass above that.
It is not a time for snow, because roots
are busily burrowing through my skin.

Where there is no light,
there are other ways to think of time.
I am never the first to know
when the sun is shining, nor when the picnic is canceled
because of rain.
The summer squall means little,
save for that exquisite wetness, indistinguishable
from an afternoon of sweet gentle showers.
Beneath the hawk and sparrow,
my flight becomes the revolution of the earth. 

Tomorrow will arrive when it is ready.
When the sun finally seeps through my limbs
I need think of nothing but the world I am creating
as I wait for what will happen next.



Zealots
A woman
her gray hair up in a scarf
shrieks something about “the foreigners
taking everything over.”

Her lipstick is the only color
on a day where ice and salt
wick from the asphalt into soles
and overcoats trapped in the muted deluge
of frantic umbrellas.

In the days of Noah
her flesh would have nourished the benthic
snails and nematodes
awarded unthinking dominion
over every mountain, every soul.  Above,
laughter at a drunken father’s nakedness--
baying of donkeys, rats gnawing through
floors.

She grips herself like tablets of stone--
Again, the foreigners
are taking everything over.  Passing mortals
avert their eyes
as Moses must have
when first approaching the burning bush.

How dare she call herself chosen!
Would that a truck would hit her,
let the color bleed from her lips, more salt
to thaw the ice, the road!  Then,
as apostates argue,
let us search the sky for doves, a single
twig, the promise of virgin land.


Friday, November 26, 2010

FOOL ME NICE: THOUGHTS ON THE GENTLE ART OF MISDIRECTION.


FOOL ME NICE: THOUGHTS ON THE GENTLE ART OF MISDIRECTION.



(This was delivered at the first Symposion Arcanus on November 23, 2010 at the Bordello Bar in Los Angeles. It's my notes to a spoken performance, so it's not properly formatted for any sort of formal publication, but I thought I'd share.)

No one appreciates being lied to. But today I’m not focused on lying. I’m discussing misdirection. I mention lying, because misdirection is often tossed into the same karmic dumpster as lying. This is not only wrong, but unfortunate.

Lying depends upon subverting honesty and goodwill through persuasion and manipulation. Misdirection, often considered an obstruction to honesty, can actually bypass preconceptions to allow a deeper connection to truth.

Lying makes us feel tired and jaded, while being fooled can fill us with wonder, even innocence. I think we have a sense of this. Being lied to by a friend or a salesperson pisses us off. However, magicians who make rabbits disappear, or cards come out of our ears, amaze and entertain us.

Think of the first (or last) of the Major Arcana, the Fool, clever and gullible, with all the wisdom and ignorance of a child. We understand on some level that that innocence and wisdom are one and the same.   

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Getting ready for UC Davis--Rough Sketch

Hi All,
I have the honor of giving the keynote at UC Davis' Trans Action Week this Nov 17.  I am working on what to say right now. :)

Speeches and keynotes are wonderful and challenging. I write something fresh for every occasion because the world is different, the times are different, and I am different. Words that might have been vital last year need to be replaced with new insights, new developments. I owe the audience my truth and my immediate presence. For now, what has driven me is twofold. First, how does one deal with bullying and a culture where compassion is equated with weakness? Second, how do we truly nurture each other, rather than simply use each other,  in our social and political activities?

So much to think about... And I so thank the people at UC Davis for letting me share. :)
Ryka

PS--plus I probably will do a poem or two if they let me!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Writing Erotica

So I am writing an erotica story right now. It is a process; most of my work hasn't been overtly, or covertly, or gee, even tangentially erotic. Much of that has to do with my own self image, and the need to shut down my own sexuality and eros--not necessarily because of Sin...but because of abuse.
   I learned to keep valuable parts of myself away from where my parents could get to them. Unfortunately, now, when I have a bit more safety than before, many of these part are still hidden. At my age, maybe it's time to air this all out--and, writing has always been how I process--so there you go.
   It's a little strange that the protagonist here still lives with her parents, but perhaps that's because part of me is still that little girl trapped in a building that feels like it will burn and shake and smother her.
  What releases her? Desire. How? Ah! That's the story...

  Wish me luck!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Many Mountains Moving! :)

Good things sometimes happen without warning. This past weekend, Debra Bokur, one of the poetry editors of Many Mountains Moving emailed me to say she was in town and would like to have tea with me. She also asked if I could bring some of my work. Any poet trying to publish knows it's not supposed to work that way. It's usually all about postage and stamps and cover letters and the whole process can get pretty faceless.

We had the most wonderful afternoon at Zen Zoo yesterday talking about everything from poetry to health spas to Los Angeles. And yes, she wants two of my pieces. I asked why she contacted me, and she said I made a good impression on her at the AWP Conference! Later, she looked at my Web site (which was on the card I gave her), and found stuff she liked. Wow...

Ms. Bokur is the type of poetry editor one hopes is actually reading work. She reads carefully, but with enthusiasm and passion. She has experience both in and out of the poetry community, and looks to poetry not as a commodity or tool, but as a vital art form just as capable as ever of enlightening and healing the reader.

I was thrilled. And yet, I was also proud. Proud because the AWP Conference scared me, but I went, anyway, met some great people and was prepared with cards. Making my Web site current was and is difficult, but I am on it. And poetry continues to be a challenge and often so lonely, but I am writing consistently and also reading great work, working through my insecurity the whole way.

Writing is a journey. Sometimes hard, sometimes cold, always demanding...but just like any journey, occasionally the wind is at your back and you meet people who remind you that you have direction, and you there is nothing you would rather be doing than what you are doing right here, right now, today! :)

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Long Poems...Gee...

Well, I am back from the "Sometimes Too Hot the Eye of Heaven Shines" (which will go on sale right here in August) party! It was so wonderful to meet the RADAR staff, and Diane DiPrima, and Justin Chin. I will probably take a little time time to process over the next few entries.

I am trying to figure out how to organize my writing blog and blog blog. I had originally thought to focus this space on writing samples, with my blog blog about everything else, but I think instead that everything about the process of writing or composition will be here, including entries like this.

After coming home, two (of many, but these are the first) things struck me... First, not only how many lives Eli Coppola had touched, but the quality of people... David West, (whom I finally found online,) handed me an envelope with chapbooks and pictures, and an earring... Jen Joseph cried onstage. For all who might have doubts from time to time (put me on this list, especially when my bike gets stolen), poetry matters. It matters a lot.

The second thing off the top of my head is how beautiful the right words can be. Justin Chin. Holy shit, how beautiful is his work. It's so careful and that care is not ponderous or overworked. Its freeing and affirming and so very right. One gets the feeling that Chin tosses away lines many of us would use, looking only for the best ones to serve on his page. The result is that even his lighter verse has this amazing completeness, this seamless engulfing music that fills you with tears and makes you glad for them.

When I came home, I looked at my latest long poem, "As Little as the Things We Be." It's gone through many revisions, but truth be told, I still have some work to do. I have been sort of dreading this, as I there are deadlines and publications and I still want to win a Pulitzer Prize blah blah blah...

But after hearing Chin, I just looked at my latest work and asked myself am I proud to show this? As proud as I was of "Sometimes Too Hot the Eye of Heaven Shines?"

No.

So it's back to the notepad. There is SO MUCH good with this poem; I think it can be something beautiful...  Patience, perseverance...

At the last AWP Dan Albergotti wrote me in his book (his The Boatloads is another book with the same care for detail), "perseverance is omnipotent." After hearing Chin's work, I was reminded that it can also be transcendent.

Time to write.

:)
Ryka

PS--I am always looking for writers to bounce ideas with. :)

Monday, July 12, 2010

If you missed my readings, my chapbook is now at Modern Times! :)


If you missed my readings, my chapbook is now at Modern Times! :)
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(from RADAR, Friday, July 9)
RADAR Productions If you missed last night's poetry reading, we're sad for you. But we want you to know you can pick up a copy of the beautiful chapbook "Sometimes Too Hot the Eye of Heaven Shines" by Ryka Aoki at Modern Times Bookstore for just $7. Get one while supplies last.

http://www.mtbs.com/

I love this poem like a drowning girl loves her life jacket. Thank you to RADAR, Inconvenient Press and especially to Eli Coppola.