Editing Tip!

My editor just told me to read my entire novel OUT LOUD and correct errors that way. Only two chapters done, but seriously--OMFG.... Totally eye-opening. I thought my manuscript was as close to perfect as I could get it--but all kinds of stuff popping out--not errors, but flow and tone flaws...places where I can tweak just a bit to make each character more distinct. Holy crud. 

Seriously, I am doing this with any major piece of writing I do from here on in. Yes, I teach this to my students for their papers, but for an entire novel--I thought my internal narration was enough. Nope. The physical act of moving air and sound through my lips, the laying of sound on the vocal chords, the gestures the words induce... Reading out loud becomes even more valuable.

I consider myself happily and gratefully reminded of a critical editing technique. Yay!

And a last one from "In Search of Geishaghost"

An Understanding Love

And there’s a rain coming down

all around us tonight

where we go doesn’t matter--

no direction is right. 

The engine is running, and the radio’s on

and you ask who will miss us

when we’re gone.

And there’s a storm coming in

from the ocean tonight

and the wind won’t stop running,

like a thief taking flight,

from the scene of a crime

that she didn’t do

and the fear in its footsteps

is the fear that’s in you.

And wherever we are, where no poetry is heard

take shelter in my vision, take shelter in my word.

And I will bring

an understanding love

when your heart lies as empty

as the church late at night.

When some notes on a napkin

hold all of our dreams,

an understanding love

is closer than it seems

to be.

A stranger can hold

the answer to the quest.

But only a true love

can hold the helplessness.

In the rain, in the storm,

on deserted streets we drive,

let me navigate this journey

let me keep us alive.

And wherever we are, when every turn is wrong

take shelter in my vision, take shelter in my song.

And I will bring

an understanding love

when your heart lies as empty

as the church late at night.

When some notes on a napkin

hold all of our dreams,

an understanding love

is closer than it seems

to be.

And I will bring

an understanding love

when you say there’s no answer

there’s no reason to fight.

When you know that we’re tired,

but forget what that means,

an understanding love

is closer than it seems

to be.

A song from "In Search of Geishaghost"

Never in Love With You

           

You say you’d never hurt me.

You say you’d never leave

if you were with me.

But you can never be with me…

And I know the sun will never rain.

The moon will never fall.

A stone will never cry.

And I will never be with you.

I will never be with you.

And I know that

if never means the same to you

as never means to me.

Then we can be never together

never in love

And I’ve never been as happy

with all that never can be

never wake up in the morning

never kiss you goodnight

and I’m never in love

never in love

never in love

with you.

If I were someone else

If this were another time

If no one else was watching

If no one else was watching

We’d take each other

take each other

take each other…away.

And I would never hurt you.

And I would never leave

if I were with you.

But I can never be with you…

And I know that

if never means the same to you

as never means to me.

Then we can be never together

never in love

And I’ve never been as happy

with all that never can be

never wake up in the morning

never kiss you goodnight

and I’m never in love

never in love

never in love

with you.

Another song from "In Search of Geishaghost"

Riding with Angels

And there’s a mountain so high

That angels run out of sky

Their wings can’t fly them any higher, so they fall

Like I have fallen, fallen from the sky

Fallen from eye.

There is an ocean so wide

That angels never dare to cross

They fly in circles, afraid they might get lost

Like I am lost, lost out at sea

Lost within me.

I’m looking out, like a traveler looking in

at wedding bells and back to schools and all that might have been

and I would pick some daisies that would make our house a home

instead of passing through this town alone.

I’m sorry for complicating everybody’s way

an extra empty chair on a cousin’s wedding day

And I may never whisper to a lover on the phone

or lullaby a child of our own.

(harmonica)

I’m on a never-ending train

That runs on whiskey, tears, and shame

There's no destination, there’s just stops along the way

And I am riding,

Riding with angels

And I am riding,

Riding with angels

Fallen, lost, hidden, riding.

Riding with angels.

--Ryka Aoki 

On an Active Readership

The more I tour, clearer that two things become--First, as a writer, I have more impact upon people and readers than I thought possible. It takes a stretch to understand that in the small press world, the people who encounter you are often a self-selecting readership, and are so grateful when they connect with a story, poem or book. It's humbling to get feedback from across the country. I am so grateful. Thank you.

The second truth that has become more evident is even more important. One reader. Seriously--ONE reader who blogs or posts, or spreads the word to others about a book impacts an entire press. Small press world is not like Random House, where readers are thought of statistically. I track myself. AJ at Trans-Genre tracks everything. Tom Leger at Topside, ditto. If you like something and tell people about it, it matters.

I think that this is one of the less-publicized, but extremely important functions of small presses. They not only give power to writers. They also give power to readers. Say a book sells 500 copies. Seriously--that's not a bad run at all. If one person blogs about it, and 8 people buy it for a reading group, or a teacher orders 25 copies for a class, that is a major major impact. As for that blogger--of course sie will be noticed, and perhaps sie may even get a review copy of the next book later.

Active readers, active writers, active publishers and editors all involved and engaged and enthusiastic. Darned good world, dontcha think?

From a reader of The Collection from Topside Press

From a reader, on reading To the New World" by Ryka Aoki. 
"I identified with Millie Wong more than any other trans woman character I've read (admittedly a tiny pool of candidates): the little politically-incorrect pleasures she takes in being a woman, the unsureness and loneliness behind her tolerance of her offensive lesbian friend Sierra."

Wow. I am really happy with Topside Press and The Collection. I was wondering where I would place that story, and they were so easy to work with. Check it out!

Good News from Ireland!

Wow! Just found out I was a commended author for the 2012 Sean O'Faolain Prize. It's an international literary battle royal. Almost 1000 entries and my latest short story, "Like Bits of Broken Glass," was one of the top 24. Just giddy right now. I think I can play with the big boys! More here! :)

A quick word on my audience for Seasonal Velocities and every other gollydarned thing I write.

It is absurd to assume lessons learned from being trans, female, queer, or a person of color should only be useful to trans, female, queer people of color. If we hope our words can make this world a wiser and more compassionate place, then we must send our words with blessings to reach everyone in this world. If we say our stories are just as indispensably human as anyone else’s, then they must thrive as other stories do—in new and novel readings by readers who live far beyond whatever curvature our own horizons follow.

Order Seasonal Velocities from Trans-Genre Press! :)

Cal Poly Pomona Commencement Address and Thoughts for Lavender Grads Everywhere.

On May 31, I had the honor of addressing Cal Poly Pomona's Lavender Graduation. This is my message to all LGBTIQQ graduates: Embrace the strengths and skills that living queer has given you and use them--employ them not just to survive, nor even to succeed--but to redefine what success can be.

To Queer the American Dream

Thank you for allowing me to be part of this day. Congratulations! I am honored to be speaking in front of you, the Cal Poly Pomona’s Lavender Graduating Class of 2012. I’d like to thank Cal Poly Pomona’s Division of Student Affairs. I’d like to thank the Pride Center. But most of all, I want to thank you, for all your hard work and achievement. You did it! Look at you!

So, I look at all of you, ready to take the next step outward—and wow—we have a world to look forward to—don't we? Hey any of you expecting to get a nice job, protected by your union, with a good health plan, and some overtime? Think you’re gonna work hard at the office in order to raise a family, send them off to college, travel a little in your retirement?

Yeah?  A couple days ago NPR started a whole series called “American Dreams,” which no doubt is timed to come out near graduation. Their first two titles? “American Dream Faces Harsh New Reality” and “More Americans Putting The 'Dream' On Hold.” Way to get a generation going, don't you think? To be fair, the data looks grim.  Let’s see… The banking system has collapsed. 11 million people owe more on their mortgage than their homes are worth. Detroit is in danger of turning off half its lights because it can't pay the electric bill.  In the meantime, Afghanistan is costing us three hundred million dollars. A day.

I have students who are going out into the world, and they’re terrified about not having the things their parents had. They worry that the same opportunity—for a good job a career, a comfy salary, a house—won't be there. And, judging from what the mainstream news (and even NPR) says, they won’t. To be honest, I’m a little worried for them. I mean, I hear even pharmacy school grads are having problems finding jobs. 

But you. I’m not worried. Not one bit! See—'cuz you weren’t mainstream, anyway.

Transfeminist Perspectives

A. Finn Enke's superb anthology Transfeminist Perspectives in and beyond Transgender and Gender Studies (Temple University Press) has just come out. I am extremely honored to be included in the anthology and even given the last word. There are some incredible writers within the pages, and I hope you check it out.

I especially like the anthology because it refuses to stay within expected academic confines. Often, when a field of study branches either into or out from another, it becomes curiously conservative (we can be even better academic theory-weenies than you). It is as if, in asserting diversity, marginalized scholars feel compelled to adopt the language of the oppressor. Or, perhaps those who make the best mimics are the ones who get recognized. Suddenly there is the call for a canon, a tradition, and whatever the cause, what results are nearsighted useless turf wars that neither serve to advance diversity, nor present any alternatives to marginalization.

Enke's selection refuses to do this. In fact, her selection seeks to avoid the appearance of overarching theory, or even agreement. And what follows is not rabble and chaos, but a deeper sense of shared, if not purpose, respect and sentiment. Enke trusts not simply her writers' ability to express themselves, but also their ability to look sideways and forward to places where there are still no answers, and the resonances that result are far more challenging and thought-provoking than any slapdash, predictable platitude.

Exploding Toothpaste

Here's a song for traveling and our friends at Airport Security. :) The chords are a bit off--but if you want, and I have my guitar around, I can sing it for ya! ;)



Exploding Toothpaste 

There’s two hours left before my plane leaves the gate G
But I’m worried that I might be already late Em
Cuz it’s an orange alert and the line to the x-ray machine C D
goes around and around     D
and the TSA rent-a-cop is yelling again
saying keep the line moving like we’re already in
the Soviet Union where everyone says
they could pull you into a room to be never seen again

And I’m really really glad the plane doesn’t explode
But I’ve been on many planes and truth to be told
Not a single plane blew up because a struggling musician
took her guitar on board. Or her toothpaste exploded.

But instead of protesting and making scene C
I just take off my shoes and walk through the machine G
And I wonder how many more lines it will take C
how many more lines, how many more lines… D
You can’t go anywhere without your picture ID
In the home of the brave and the land of the free
What the hell’s the point of saluting the flag
when a mom must put her breast milk in a see-through plastic bag?

Now I got a nice suitcase with a lock on the side
but now all that means is I have something to hide
But since when is a government’s word good enough
to let a man I don't know search through all of my stuff?

And I know that some of you might say I’m being naïve
But I wonder is it gullible to say I believe
While we’re all so fucking worried about liquids and shoes
we should pay more attention to the freedoms we lose
‘cuz they say that we must do everything we must do
but Joseph McCarthy once seemed reasonable too
And I wonder will I ever see
why we’re giving up our freedom so that we can be free--

it’s exploding toothpaste!

we’re trading lives for oil but there’s exploding toothpaste
The ice caps are melting
but there’s exploding toothpaste
You can’t be free while there’s exploding toothpaste
I take off my shoes and pledge allegiance
to the United States of Exploding Toothpaste

My forthcoming book now has a Facebook page!

Now with nicer easier-to-remember name! Yay!


http://www.facebook.com/seasonalvelocities

Pre-release response for Seasonal Velocities has been wonderful! :) Yay!

Review of Seasonal Velocities from A. Finn Enke, Director of LGBT Studies at UW Madison! 

Ryka Aoki, Seasonal Velocities

Review comments by A. Finn Enke

"Seasonal Velocities is a startling gem of a book. With her characteristic honesty and a powerful, fierce grace, Ryka Aoki carries us through fear in the dark, the half-lives of scars, home, and hope. As vivid and unflinching as it is lyrical, this poetry delivers and demands sparkling truth even as it speaks of violence, longing and love. Rather than aiming to transcend, Aoki invites us to make alliance with all the contradictions of being human, to grow stories, to listen, and to build community despite everything."

Please consider pre-ordering Seasonal Velocities. 30% discount thru March, with release in April.

AWP

It's my last night in Chicago, and I had a Potbelly sandwich across the the street from the Art Institute. This was not like any other AWP experience. With my book out, there was no hunger to network--at least not in the same way. I enjoyed myself, looked for interesting books and tables with very yummy refreshments (Bushmills Irish Whiskey!) I had a blast with my conference roommate, Nancy Agabian--that worked out amazingly well.

This afternoon I worked out in the gym ($10 fee grr) and was asked if I wanted to teach martial arts in the hotel. Yesterday I went to Starbucks and met a guy who does drywall, another who plays the bass, and some guy who tells terrible terrible jokes. Drywall guy gave me his card and said call him. So lots of fun interactions.

I thought I might get a drink my last night here, but it's still a bit noisy, and one conference leaves for another to enter. Already, the lanyards and different colors and name tags are different fonts. Oh, but it was fun, wasn't it!?

Seasonal Velocities

My first full-length book is finally coming out. I can't tell you how good this feels. I remember when I was young, my mother showed me a book, Pineapple White by Jon Shirota, and we were amazed that someone who looked like us could actually get a book published. I remember my father telling me there were no Asian-American writers and to pursue writing was impossible (this was even before Maxine Hong Kingston, et. al.)

But I never gave up, and times change, and people break walls..and through it all, I just keep writing. Eventually there were more Asian-American writers, and Gay/Lesbian writers, and feminist presses... But in my writing and performing and travel, I have noticed yet so many more margins and underrepresented communities.

Along the way, I have made so many friends and people with whom I want to change the world. We have complained over beer and wine and scotch and coffee about the limits and politics of the publishing game, and how we need to support our own. That is why, when Seasonal Velocities was ready, I asked my longtime friend and fellow artist, A.J. Bryce if he wouldn't mind publishing me under his Trans-Genre imprint.

I know there are larger presses, and possibly I could have landed a deal with a press like that. But with Trans-Genre, I could really work with a publisher who knew what walls we still need to break. And besides, if we don't support our own, why should anyone else?

So, if you really want to support a small press, and a new author, and collaborations between friends and allies, please consider purchasing Seasonal Velocities. I feel so good and clean about this book. There are no compromises within its pages, and I hope and trust that will make all the difference with you.

http://trans-genre.net/content/seasonal-velocities/

So yes, transphobic stuff...

No.
I try not to make too many quick statements on the many transphobic goings on in the world. There are too many of them, and for every Girl Scout trying to boycott cookies, there are a thousand less-noticed slaps in the face trans people deal with every day. Someone uses tranny in a dismissive way. So-called allies who want to use me to educate themselves about trans issues and use me for legitimacy, only to not take me seriously on women's issues. Someone mistakes an expression of outrage for "hot tranny mess."

I have heard women tell me "I thought you were hot, then I realized you were trans," as if going out with me would have been as ludicrous as dating a gorilla. I have heard gay men tell me I shouldn't make a big deal of it, that they don't believe me, and that everyone has a feminine side.

I have been to the various LGBT centers and seen trans people of color automatically treated like drug addicts and criminals, sometimes when they were applying for jobs.

And, with all this, we haven't even addressed transphobia in non-queer space.

So, I have learned to keep close to myself, my friends, and thoughts of better days. Were I to shed a tear for everyone who rightfully deserves one, there would be nothing left of me.

My comfort and weapon is my pen, with which I shall unleash all the truth and beauty that I can possibly summon. I shall try to weave dignity with my poems and my songs, and my worlds will be worlds in which the cruelest punishment is not reserved for those of us who are different, and someone, somewhere, has the means to make a better place.

And for my family, my friends, I will teach them everything about fighting I know, with the wisdom to use the techniques wisely, but without hesitation should they be attacked.

That is what I can do, most all I can do right now. The soul is not limitless, which is why sometimes I turn away from yet another ugly, horrible thing.

Realigning...reinventing...

I've always thought of myself as a writer--except when it came to profession, where I have thought of myself as "professor." It is a nice title, but it leaves me a little empty. After much thought, I realized I am a writer not just by interest, but by profession, and being a professor, which I love and enjoy, is actually my secondary job. Knowing my teaching gig is the solid paycheck that propels the rest of my career (or, perhaps re-discovering this), sets me in proper perspective and on a good track to move forward!

This came up when I decided against applying to a full-time tenure-track developmental English job. I'd basically be kissing my writing days good-bye. I have lived lean, about the same way I did as a grad student, not because I have to, but because I chose this way to write. So I shouldn't worry about others having more success than I do, or whatever whatever. I am a writer, following her heart and passion.