So yes, transphobic stuff...

No.
I try not to make too many quick statements on the many transphobic goings on in the world. There are too many of them, and for every Girl Scout trying to boycott cookies, there are a thousand less-noticed slaps in the face trans people deal with every day. Someone uses tranny in a dismissive way. So-called allies who want to use me to educate themselves about trans issues and use me for legitimacy, only to not take me seriously on women's issues. Someone mistakes an expression of outrage for "hot tranny mess."

I have heard women tell me "I thought you were hot, then I realized you were trans," as if going out with me would have been as ludicrous as dating a gorilla. I have heard gay men tell me I shouldn't make a big deal of it, that they don't believe me, and that everyone has a feminine side.

I have been to the various LGBT centers and seen trans people of color automatically treated like drug addicts and criminals, sometimes when they were applying for jobs.

And, with all this, we haven't even addressed transphobia in non-queer space.

So, I have learned to keep close to myself, my friends, and thoughts of better days. Were I to shed a tear for everyone who rightfully deserves one, there would be nothing left of me.

My comfort and weapon is my pen, with which I shall unleash all the truth and beauty that I can possibly summon. I shall try to weave dignity with my poems and my songs, and my worlds will be worlds in which the cruelest punishment is not reserved for those of us who are different, and someone, somewhere, has the means to make a better place.

And for my family, my friends, I will teach them everything about fighting I know, with the wisdom to use the techniques wisely, but without hesitation should they be attacked.

That is what I can do, most all I can do right now. The soul is not limitless, which is why sometimes I turn away from yet another ugly, horrible thing.

Realigning...reinventing...

I've always thought of myself as a writer--except when it came to profession, where I have thought of myself as "professor." It is a nice title, but it leaves me a little empty. After much thought, I realized I am a writer not just by interest, but by profession, and being a professor, which I love and enjoy, is actually my secondary job. Knowing my teaching gig is the solid paycheck that propels the rest of my career (or, perhaps re-discovering this), sets me in proper perspective and on a good track to move forward!

This came up when I decided against applying to a full-time tenure-track developmental English job. I'd basically be kissing my writing days good-bye. I have lived lean, about the same way I did as a grad student, not because I have to, but because I chose this way to write. So I shouldn't worry about others having more success than I do, or whatever whatever. I am a writer, following her heart and passion.